My name should be different today, maybe going forward.  Maybe it should be that whenever we make big changes in our lives, when we've become someone more, we should get a new name.

Seeing someone yesterday, admitting how it's been so hard, speaking the truth, the realization came that we do so much to hide who we really are, to shelter parts of ourselves so that others can't see.  And these days hiding behind large walls - the better to hold me with my dear, or lean on to hold us up when we are no longer the person we knew.  It's a good thing I think, to lose oneself, to fall apart, to tear walls down, or let them crumble.

Perhaps if we could see who we really are...like a work in progress if you will, unrefined, a bit chaotic, colors out of proportion.  Like a home remodel.   There's a point when everything looks like a helluva mess and things seem so unresolved that there's no hope of it ever becoming more.  It does, it's only a mess for as long as it takes, and then it starts to come together.  If we could just avoid the mess, but alas, that's life, messy.  So, we shall see.


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